The world of online dating is a big network. Many find their love here, while many are still searching for the perfect partner. Some date lightly, while some are quite serious. I have a busy schedule, and took little interest in dating or social activities. However, I also got caught in the web of a great Japanese dating website and tried my luck.
Dating online is much easier here in Japan than offline dating in person. Many of my readers who may be Westerners would be amazed to know that it’s not a one night stand game here, or men and women do not hook on to each other in pubs and clubs often. That kind of dating also happens here, but in the bigger and busier cities like Tokyo. Otherwise people here still go the traditional way. In fact the traditional way has its own sweetness, and people here feel secure and comfortable that way.
How normal dating goes on
Normally girls and boys see each other in groups, and they do not interact individually alone as happens in western countries. Physical intimacy is a much advanced concept, which comes only when a couple gets serious about their relationship. Thus you do not kiss your date good buy as it happens in the west. Rather you start holding hands with care and assurance of a long term relation after you propose to a girl, and shortly see her family.
The positives of dating online
Since I knew that I would also have to proceed in a similar way, if I wanted to go for a serious relationship with a well mannered girl of a good background, I opted for the online dating method. It seemed much easier to me. I got lots of options, many profiles to look and choose for, and could avoid a profile or cut down on any contact if I didn’t get the frequency match. Moreover it will definitely be easier on pocket, as real dating would need me and the girl to spend some money, be it on movies or restaurant or some club or love hotel etc. But, here, I won’t have to worry about all that. Only a high quality Japanese webcam would do the job, and I would be able to chat with anybody on cam.
How I started to date online
I thus registered for some good and reliable Japanese online dating sites, and got instant results. Uploading some pictures got me great attention, and in a few days, I was dating with three beautiful Japanese girls alternatively. They also showed up on the cam, and we had long chatting hours. Finally I hooked up to Chiasa. She is gorgeous, lively, beautiful and really smart. Moreover she was quite educated and had some good insight of life which impressed me the most.
We explored online dating to the fullest by both text and video chatting, and even spent long hours chatting. Many nights were spent when we didn’t sleep, and chatted on for 4-5 hours. Finally the day came, when we met in person at a local coffee shop near her house. That was the beginning, and we are still going on writing new episodes of our love story, as we are now steadily living together.
I will not forget the look on the face of Atsushi, my Japanese colleague in Nagoya, when I asked him about how easy was it to date a Japanese single woman. Being a westerner I had no idea how conservative the people of Japan are when it comes to things like dating and making partners.
Why online dating?
Atsushi educated me that Jap girls would not express their feelings till the time they have spent enough time with the person. Also, they prefer more traditional sources of getting a partner like mutual friends, organizations, etc. I was left with no choice but to opt for a Japanese Online dating portal which offered its services free of cost.
I had been posted to Nagoya for a period of three years and I was looking for a good girl with whom I could spend these three years and possibly the rest of my life. Before registering, I did some research on the Japanese online dating industry just to be sure that I am hooking myself to the right kind of websites.
Facts that surprised me
What I discovered was very astonishing. Unlike its neighborhood countries of Thailand or Philippines where dating and online dating is as regular and abundant as sand on the beach, Japan has maintained its heritage of being conservative, as a result of which online dating sites are not as readily available as like in other parts of the continent of Asia.
Like any other country even Japan has its share of fake IDs in the online dating sites, and I was very careful right from the beginning. Even Atsushi had warned me about these fake IDs. Pictures of women skimpily dressed and only one or two pictures were the ones I had to avoid. After a lot of digging, Japanese online dating finally helped me meet Rika, the love of my life.
I found my life, my dear love Jiro through a Japanese online dating site, and had a very interesting experience while I searched for a good guy. You know, it’s not that easy to find a good guy quickly from a dating site, where there are so many fake ids of people out there. One person may have 2-3 ids to flirt and date, and it’s difficult to detect one unless you take to a person for quite a few days. Even then also, you may not know the reality until you meet in person.
Tried online dating
I was looking through the several online dating options and read the tips for safe online dating. I was lonely, and needed a partner, yet didn’t want to take chance dating in open when I had conservative parents at home, and I stay with them till date. Well, it’s not me only but most girls stay with their parents here in Japan, till they are ready to travel out for studies or get married or posted out for a job.
I found my love online
I opened a profile, uploaded a decent picture of mine, and then surfed through the numerous profiles with great opening lines and impressive data while I found out Jiro. No big and fat profile summary or nothing too impressive was there except for his picture with a nice and heart winning smile. That smile said it all about him. His eyes were clear, and I could see his heart through those glimmering eyes. I quickly sent him a friend request, to which he responded in 2 days.
And, then the rest is history for me. We talked, shared moments, encouraged each other to plan a better future, and he really became my inspiration to study more and get serious with my life. Now I am well qualified and working, and that’s because if him. He is not just the love of my life, but my inspiration too. In six months, we would be tying the knot, and am now eagerly counting days.
I always wondered why it took so much time for my friends and colleagues to decide upon a particular girl or woman as life partner. After studying the reasons closely I came to the conclusion that going by the traditional way, it may take on forever to meet his or her dream partner.
Dating online has its advantages
Traditional ways that are still much in practice in most parts of Japan that makes you date in groups, where you are supposed to travel with friends for a longer time, and then only may practice individual dating.
Then also, it is never guaranteed that you will succeed to win the heart of your date, or vice versa. Moreover, you get to date with only one lady or man, and that is the biggest disadvantage of dating one on one in person.
Thus things like these, coupled with rejections after a few dates, and then retrying dating with someone again following all these traditions, rules and customs makes the whole process too lengthy, thus elongating the time it takes to find a perfect match which you would like to pursue seriously in future.
Thus I never ever tried this form of dating actually. I was always faster than the rest around me, and loved to accomplish everything fast, and am open to admit that I am a little impatient kind. Thus Japanese online dating were perfect dating ground for me and online dating was just my cup of coffee.
I met Fumio
Well I sipped and relished the cup quite often, and enjoyed a great time dating online till I felt serious about one guy, Fumio, and slowly came closer to him. Though I wanted to get in touch with him personally very soon, yet he wanted me to keep calm, and said me to continue date with him online, till he felt that the time is ripe to meet in person.
Somehow Fumio had already taken control over me, and I obeyed him just like my guardian. I think the mental chemistry had started then only, and we started bonding from the distance. Finally, we met, and in a short time, he expressed his love for me, though we both saw it in our eyes. Now we are a family and I personally advise all of my friends and acquaintances to find for a date online, rather than hovering over with unpredictability here and there.